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Ultra 101: Episode 7
The seventh episode of Ultra 101. It is composed of The Great Baltan Fight Part 1 and Part 2. The Great Baltan Fight Part 1: Preparation Mebius and Zero were sprawled across the couch after a crazy night. All the sudden the front door flew open and the Ultra Brothers came running in. “Mebius, Zero!” They shouted. “W--what?” Mebius asked as he got up, groggy eyed. Seven shook Zero. “Get up son, there isn’t much time!” “Why? What’s happening!” “It’s coming! It slipped right under our noses!” Zoffy said hitting his fist into his open palm. “What’s coming?” Mebius asked. “The Baltans..!” -This is the point the opening would play, so why don’t you go listen to Spyair and do something with your life?- A bit later Zoffy and Taro sat at a table, reviewing soldiers. They needed the best. “Next!” Zoffy called. The next one came in. “Okay… Next up is…” Taro read from a file. “Am I pronouncing this right Mister Giz?” “Yep, that’s about right.” Responded the soldier. Zoffy made a face thinking it over in his head. “Giiiiiz?” He asked. “That’s right.” “Wait wait, so it’s like Giz, like “is”, or Giz like in “Giza”?” Zoffy asked. Giz thought for a moment. “Yes.” NEXT! “Okay, Mister Gamma.” Taro read from a file. Zoffy and Taro looked at the soldier, and were surprised by his appearance. “Tiga?!” “No, I’m Gamma.” The soldier said. “You look like a Tiga too me.” Taro said. “Well, let’s just forget how I look, and focus on what I can do, alright?” Gamma said. Zoffy nodded. “Right right right. There’s just one thing I need to know.” “Yes?” “If we hang around you, we aren’t gonna get radiated are we?” NEXT! “Okay, so your name is…?” Zoffy asked. “Sorta.” The Ultra replied. “So, you’re an Ultraman right?” “Sorta, I haven’t been to Earth yet but-OH, HAR HAR VERY FUNNY! THAT’S IT I’M OUT OF HERE!” NEXT! “Okay, so you’re Trio?” Taro asked. The golden being nodded. “Okay dude-” “No.” “What?” Zoffy asked. “I’m not a dude.” The being explained. Taro and Zoffy were shocked, considering it’s hollow and masculine sounding voice. Taro continued. “Okay, dudette-” “No.” “What is it now?” Taro asked. “I’m not a ‘dudette’.” The being said. Zoffy and Taro looked at each other. Zoffy spinned his finger around his ear, and Taro nodded in agreement. “I see what you’re doing. Allow me to explain. Actually, allow me to show.” The being started glowing, and disappeared. But as it disappeared three Ultras fell down from where it use to be. Two were men, the other a woman. The three darted up and assumed a Super Sentai Pose. “Fiery Will, Pyro!” “Soaring Spirit, Aero!” “Surging Fury, Nero!” Taro and Zoffy looked at each other again. “Hey, who said you get to be in the middle!?” Aero said pushing aside Pyro to get in the middle. Pyro pushed back. “Um, I’m the red one!” “Why don’t you boys let the lady take the center?” Nero offered. “SHUT UP WOMAN!” They both yelled at her. She pouted, and then snarled. She jumped at them with her teeth bared. Zoffy and Taro watched in horror. Next… Please…. “Okay so, Mister Chimera, we’ve been reviewing your file and…” Zoffy looked at Chimera. “And what?” He asked. “You’re a Dark Ultra.” Zoffy said. “Oh, so I suppose that makes me a bad person?” He asked. Taro twiddled his fingers. “Well… yeah, sort of.” He said being frank. “I don’t like it when people question me…” Chimera said as he started radiating a black aura. “When people question me I get angry… And when I get angry I-!” “SECURITY!” Next! “Okay, two guys this time.” Taro said. Zoffy took the file and looked at it, and then looked at the two Ultras. “So you say you’re names are… Moedari and One?” Zoffy asked. “Got that right!” Moedari said. “We’re the sons of Mebius and Zero!” One said with pride. Zoffy was taken aback, and Taro started laughing a little. “You know we don’t allow Role-Players in here right?” Zoffy asked. “Oh don’t worry, we are legit!” Moedari said. Taro continued laughing. “No time travellers either.” Zoffy said. One was about to say something, but decided not too. “So, *mph* are you guys, *giggle* like,” Taro was struggling keeping a laugh in. “Brothers?!” He blurted out with a laughed. Zoffy grabbed Taro angrily. “Taro! I will skin you, feed your skin too little baby pigmens, then shoot you! I’ll wear your horns and Color-timer as jewelry!” NEXT! “Okay, so your name is… ZACH?!” Zoffy asked, not believing what he read. “Yes that’s right.” The ultra responded. “So, is this a typo? Shouldn’t it be spelled something like… Idunno, Z-A-Y-K?” Zoffy asked in confusion. “Nope, that’s right, Z-A-C-H.” Zach said. “But why?!” Zoffy asked. “Um, Jack?” Zach said in excuse. “Jack has two reasons in his defense. One Jack the Giant Killer, it’s a fairy tale so he get’s credit for that. And to, ‘JYAKU’ is a battle cry.” Zoffy explained. “If I find a fairy tale or epic that features a character named Zach will you let me be?” Zach asked. Zoffy thought for a bit. “Yeah sure.” NEXT! “And you are?” Zoffy asked. “Ultraman Reuz!” The ultra said proudly. “You got that right.” Taro joked. Zoffy laughed with him. “Get it? Cause it sounds like-” “Yeah yeah, I get it, don’t explain the joke.” NEXT “Okay, Mister Orion, I’ve been reviewing your records and I must say, I’m very impressed.” Zoffy said. Taro nodded in agreement. “Thank you Gen. Zoffy, I just try to do my best.” Orion replied. “But it also says here that you’re married-OH, and also expecting a child soon.” Orion scratched his head in a little bit of embarrassment. “Yeah, we’re gonna have a kid soon.” Orion admitted. “And that’s exactly why you can’t join.” Zoffy said bluntly. “What?” Orion asked. “We can’t do this to you or your family. This is dangerous business, we can’t have your child fatherless, we just can’t allow that.” Zoffy explained. Orion nodded. “But you are a good soldier, soldier.” Zoffy said. “Any other time we would gladly accept you in this occasion, but not now. Now, go back to your wife.” Zoffy said. Orion saluted. NEXT! “Too small!” NEXT! “Too fat!” NEXT! “Too weak!” NEXT! “Too weird!” NEXT! “You aren’t even giving me a chance!” “There’s no way you’d last out there!” “You don’t even know what I’m capable of!” “Sorry, kid. But you just don’t have what it takes… to join the Soccer Team!” The Great Baltan Battle Part 2: Battle and Watch “Okay ladies, let’s get in shape!” Zoffy barked. “Hey!” The only female in the group snapped in annoyance. “Oh I’m sorry...” Zoffy apologized as he walked up to her. “Sir.” He said with massive punctuation. “Drop down and give me 50, SIR!” He said in her face. “Anyway, we only have so much time until the game, we got to get ready quick!” Everyone else saluted. “And quite it with the salutes! This is Ultra-ball, not the army!” Taro approached Zoffy. “Hey Zoffy, sorry but apparently we missed one.” Taro explained showing him a file. Zoffy groaned. “Okay, bring ‘em in.” Taro brought in a very sharp looking silver and red Ultraman with green eyes. “So you are… ZX?” Zoffy asked. “It’s pronounced ‘Zehks’”. The Ultra said quietly. “I don’t wanna be here…” He said looking off into the distance. Zoffy laughed a little. “Man, are you emo.” He observed. ZX however was offended by this. “Oh! Like it’s my fault that my author won’t give me a freakin’ chapter already, despite being announced over a freakin’ year ago! D’ah! I hate everyone and everything! I don’t even like sports!” The emo stormed off. Zoffy looked at Taro. “I think that went rather well.” Taro said scratching his head. “I like a challenge, bring ‘em back.” The Game! On one side the bleachers were full of Ultras cheering on the home team. “Yeah, eh, wooot?” Mebius said awkwardly. He nudged Jack next to him. “I’ve heard about this sport my whole life, but I’ve never been able to really catch how the game works. Mind ‘splaining?” Mebius asked. Jack nodded. “Sure thing kid. You see it’s like this.” One complicated explanation later. HEY, don’t look at me like that, you try explaining a 3-dimensional energy version of Football mixed with Soccer IN SPACE! “Oh…” Mebius said digesting the explanation. “That makes sense!” Mebius looked at the Away team. There were so many Baltans. But their bleachers had so few people in them. “Jack, why are there so few Baltans that came to watch?” Mebius asked. “Oh that’s simple. You see there are actually only roughly 10 Baltans on that team.” Jack said. “What?! Only 10? How can that be?” Mebius asked. “Duplication!” Jack said striking a finger into the air. Down at the field Zoffy was rallying the home team. “We can do this! Cause we were born to!” “YEAH!” “Let’s get to it!” “YEAH!” “DONATE TO MY GOFUNDME!” “YEAH!” “WE’RE GONNA PARADE AROUND ALL OF PLANET ULTRA DRESSED IN HIPSTER TUTUS!” “What?” Everyone said coming back to reality. All except for Nice in the back. “Yeah!” He said pumping his fist into the air. Everyone looked at him. “Okay. Shin’s team will take the left, Seven’s team the right, Taro’s the center, Ace’s the upper left, Leo’s the upper right, Astra’s the lower right, Neos’ the lower left, Zearth’s the half-way up right side, Cosmos’ the half-way down right side, Blue Nexus’ the half-way up left, Red Nexus’ the half-way down left, and Max and Xenon take the lower and upper centers!” Zoffy said all in one breath. Everyone murmured in confusion. “What team was I on again?” Asked someone in the back. Zoffy facepalmed. “GAME START!” The announcer called out. “D’oh never mind, just go WILD!” Mebius, Jack and Zero watched as the game unfolded in front of them. Zero looked all over the field, trying to follow what was happening. “I don’t get it! What just happened?” Zero asked. “Isn’t it obvious, the *complicated thing* with the *complicated thing* so that the *complicated thing involving Shin* so now there’s *complicated procedure*.” Mebius explained, using what he learned from Jack. Zero just stared at him. “I don’t follow.” He said with squinted eyes. Mebius looked at Jack. “Some people, I tell ya.” He said. Zero’s veins started puffing. “Is that an insult about my intellect!?” Zero questioned. Mebius shook his head hurredly. “Nope nope nope!” He said in defense. Back in the game, things were getting heated! Literally! Leo tackles a guy and set him on fire, causing a freak Baltan fire! Don’t worry, this is perfectly legal in Ultra Ball. The Ultras took this opportunity and they all scrambled for the ball. Just as Astra was about to grab it a Baltan flew by kicking it away. Astra snapped his fingers. “I never get the ball…” He said sadly. Everyone(sans Astra) watched the ball fly through the air… towards Taro. “Taro! Heads up!” Seven shouted. Taro; who was busy doing a thing, looked up confused. “What” BAMB The ball was pierced through his left horn. Taro looked up for the ball, but couldn’t see it as it was just outside of his eye range. Everyone looked on in silence. Finally Shin shouted. “Run! Taro Run!” He shouted. Taro looked toward Shin. “Run where?” He asked. Shin facepalmed. ‘The Ball is on your horn! Run for the goal!” He shouted. Taro nodded slowly, then finally realized what he meant. Within seconds he was darting out towards the goal. A bunch of Baltans formed a line of defense. “Alright boys, don’t let ‘em pass y-” VROOOM! The Baltans were blown away by Taro’s speed. “You know what, never mind…” The Baltan said picking up his separated pieces. Taro rushed into the goal and faceplanted in order for it to qualify. Everyone on the Ultra side cheered. It was the first goal for the game. Later Current Score (Home|Away): 5|4 “Okay Neos, you got to keep your ground! Don’t let the Baltans pass you!” Zoffy told Neos. “Right sir! I’ll do my best to make sure they don’t!” He said. Zoffy smiled. “Atta boy!” 3 Baltans dashed to Neos’ area. He threw his arms to the side making an energy shield. “You aren’t gonna pass me!” He taunted. The 3 Baltans looked at each other and nodded. One of them took out a miniature house. Neos was confused. “What? A House? Why, what are you gonna do wit-NO…” Neos was breathless upon realization. The Baltan smiled, and crushed the house. Neos held his color-timer and fell over. “NO!!!” He cried grovelling in pain. “The house! NO!!!” Everyone else on the Ultra team facepalmed as the Baltans passed him and gained a point 5|5 Seven and a Baltan dashed for the ball. Just as Seven was about to grab it he tripped and the Baltan snatched it. Seven got up and brushed himself off, the Baltan still standing there just smiling at him. Seven sneered, and the tookoffhiseyesluggerandgougedtheBaltantoamillionsmallerBaltans. Everyone watched in silence. Then Seven scored a point, so nobody cared anymore and they cheered. Back in the bleachers Mebius was starting to question the morality of the sport. “Hot dogs!” An Ultra passed by selling hotdogs. Mebius tapped the guy on the shoulder. “Hey, I’ll take two-” Mebius cut himself off when the Ultra turned around. It was Eiti! “Eiti?!” Mebius said. Eiti smiled. “Oh, hey Lil’ Moe.” Eiti said cheerfully. Mebius pouted. “It’s Mebius.” He mumbled. Eiti laughed a little. “Yeah yeah, I know.” He said. “Anyway, what are you doing selling hotdogs?” Mebius asked. “Shouldn’t you be off like doing, I dunno, curing cancer?” Eiti chuckled. “Yeah, probably. But I need to scrounge up a little extra cash.” He explained. Mebius looked at him. “Yullian?” “Yullian…” Eiti sighed. Mebius handed Eiti some money and he passed him two hotdogs. “Well, I should probably let you get back to work.” Mebius said. Eiti shook his head. “Nah, catching up with you is better.” He said as he threw away his basket behind him. “Whatthe?! Ew, Miclas intestines and other unspecified animal parts!!” Mebius spat out the hotdog his was eating. Eiti quickly slunk low into the free seat next to Mebius. “So… uh, how has life been?” Mebius asked. Eiti shrugged. “Oh it’s been fine.” He said. “How bout you?” Jack leaned over to Mebius. “Isn’t this game just the best, kiddo?!” He asked in excitement. Eiti looked at Jack, and then back at Mebius. “You know Jack?!” He asked in surprise. “Oh yeah, I’ve been staying with the Ultra Brothers for the last couple months.” Mebius said casually. “AND RECENTLY ME!!!” Astra yelled jumping up from below into the center of the screen, right before plummeting back down. “Don’t mind him.” Mebius said. Eiti scratched his head. “But why?!” He asked. Mebius shrugged. “They think I have potential, so I’m being trained.” He said. “But what about School!?” Eiti asked. “What about School?” “Don’t you still attend?” “Um… no?” Mebius said in confusion. “Don’t you know how important education is?” Eiti asked hysterically. “Don’t worry, I don’t need an advanced eduakashun.” Mebius handwaved. “That’s not how you spell it!” Eiti shouted. Mebius shrunk down. “Hey dude, don’t go breaking the fourth wall on me.” Mebius meeped. Eiti wiped his face. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry.” Eiti said. “It’s just. I sort of worry about you sometimes.” “Really?” Mebius asked. “Yeah. Back in school, we were buddies right? But then when all the sudden they noticed my higher than usual intelligence I kept getting put up through classes, leaving you behind. Now look where I am,” “Selling hotdogs.” “No not that! Part of the Planet Ultra Research and Development labs. And you practically dropped out of school. It makes me feel bad…” Eiti said solemnly. Mebius chuckled and shook his head. “What are you doing man, this is a comedy story!” He laughed. Eiti perked up. “You just told me not to break the fourth wall!” He said with a laugh. Zero traded seats with Jack to talk with Mebius. “Hey Twinkie, who is this nerd?” He asked. Eiti eyeballed Zero. “Ah, right. Zero, Eiti. Eiti, Zero.” Mebius said introducing one to the other. “0-80-80-0?” Jack said in confusion. “Zero, you see Eiti is my friend from back in School. He’s a genius, so he currently works at the Planet Ultra Whatchamacallit labs and I’m dropped out.” He explained, almost repeating just what Eiti said. “What?” Zero asked. “I’m not sure either.” Mebius said realizing what he just said. “Anyway, Eiti, this is Zero, he’s “Ultra Seven”’s son, and sort of a jerk.” “I’m sitting right here!” Zero growled. Eiti smiled at Zero. “Oh, it’s nice that Mebius has another friend.” He said handing his hand for shake to Zero. Zero looked at it, but turned away with a humph. Eiti drew his hand back disappointedly. “What’s his problem.” “Oh it’s simple. He’s such a jerk he barely has any friends, so of the friends he does have he is very possessive over.” Mebius explained. Zero fumed. “You are not my friend, Twinkie!” Zero said raising his fist in anger. Mebius back against Eiti. “Hey Zero, calm down.” He said with a nervously smile. Zero drew closer, still angry. “Let’s not do anything you might regret, right?” “You mean like meeting you?!” Zero asked angrily. Mebius sheepishly laughed. “Come on Zero, you don’t mean it right? Zero? Zero? Zero?!” Mebius asked over and over as Zero still drew near. Then all the sudden. “HEADSUP!” An Ultra ball hit smack-dab into Mebius’ face and all went black. THE END